Unofficially Thames Rowing Club

Position Crew Time (original) Time (adjusted)
1 Alan Hawes 07:49 07:59 Note 1
2 Prince Michael/Mince Pie 07:55 08:05 Note 2
3 Grand 48 07:58 08:08 Note 3
4 John Levy 08:02 08:11 Note 4
5 Westminster 08:12 08:12
6 Dick Phelps 07:48 08:13 Notes 5,6 and 7
7 4+ 09:15 08:15 Notes 8,9 and 10
8 William Saunders 08:15 08:16 Note 11
9= Peter Kirkpatrick 08:17 08:17
9= Noel 08:17 08:17
11 Maurice Rayner 08:18 08:18

Notes
1. A 10 second time penalty was awarded to Mr Nicholas P Mahon for having attempted to unduly
influence one of the senior umpires by dressing up as him, causing that umpire to holler “go on
mini-me” over the megaphone.
2. A 10 second time penalty was awarded to Mr Alan Bowling for not having worn his snow white
costume. This penalty is under appeal, as Mr Bowling has argued that had he worn the same costume
he might have been accused of being unimaginative. The Puds Committee is considering this appeal,
and should it be successful, might remove it, but replace it with a 10 second time penalty for Alan’s
having moaned about a penalty.
3. A 10 second time penalty was awarded to Mr Harry Dorrace-King for having asked whether it was too late
to bribe me for a good crew whilst in the process of boating.
4. A 9 second time penalty was awarded to Miss Olivia Cook for having attempted to bribe Mr
William Pressley, rather than directing her bribe towards me. Really. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed.
5. This crew had a pre-announced 40 second time adjustment
6. This crew received a 5 second time penalty, awarded to Mr Mehdi Kordi for having a costume that fell off
half way through the race in a manner likely to lead to a health and safety risk.
7. This crew received a 20 second time credit for having the Stig in it. We just loved Stig so much.
8. This crew had a pre-announced time adjustment of one minute.
9. This crew received a time penalty of 20 seconds, awarded to Mr Oliver Gill for having bullied and
intimidated his coxswain, Mr Richard Burdett.
10. This crew received a time credit of 20 seconds, awarded as compensation to Mr Richard Burdett
for the pain and suffering caused by Mr Gill’s terrible behaviour.
11. This crew received a 1 second penalty for having drawn a possible penalty to the Committee’s
attention. Darwinism in its purest form.
12. It has been noted by the PudCommittee that Mr C George managed to once again avoid racing,
having “arrived late”. The Pudcommittee has not forgotten an old note on the file regarding a promise
to fit his next pudcrew with a bungee and remove its coxbox, and is impressed by the many and varied
ways in which Mr George has since managed to avoid his fate.